Clara James Tutoring
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Anxiety in going back to school
I had help to write this as it’s obviously not my area of expertise, but I hope it’s helpful:
Starting a new school year can be a stressful and overwhelming experience for many children, especially if they’re already struggling with their mental health. As a parent, it can be heart breaking to see your child upset about going back to school. Here are a few ideas that I hope help to make the new term a little bit easier.
One of the most important steps in supporting your child is to acknowledge their feelings. It’s normal for children to experience anxiety, nervousness, or stress when faced with new environments, routines, and expectations. Let them know that it’s okay to feel this way and reassure them that they are not alone.
Encourage your child to talk about their worries without fear of judgement and validate their emotions to help them feel understood and less isolated in their struggles. This will hopefully help them to feel seen.
Children, particularly those who are anxious, often benefit greatly from having a predictable routine. Structure provides a sense of safety and control, especially when they feel overwhelmed by changes. In the lead-up to the new school year, it’s a good idea to establish a routine that mirrors the school day. This might include setting regular bedtimes, wake-up times, and mealtimes to help them to adjust gradually.
A simple, visual schedule can be particularly helpful for younger children or those who like to ‘see’ what to expect which is often the case for many neurodiverse children. Together, you could create a daily routine chart that outlines what they can expect each day. This allows them to see what’s coming, which can help reduce feelings of uncertainty.
Fear of the unknown can be a significant source of anxiety for many. If possible, take some time before the school year starts to familiarise them with their school environment. If they are attending a new school, visiting the building, walking through the hallways, and locating important areas such as their classroom or playground can help ease some of their fears. Meeting their teacher before the first day can also provide a sense of comfort.
If visiting the school isn’t feasible, there are other ways to familiarise them with the environment. Look through the school’s website together or use online tools like Google Street View to explore the area virtually. The goal is to reduce the sense of unfamiliarity, helping them feel more at ease when the first day arrives.
When faced with a new school year, children can feel overwhelmed by the idea of an entire academic year stretching out ahead of them. To make the experience feel less daunting, help your child break down the challenge into smaller, manageable steps. For instance, instead of focusing on the whole year, encourage them to think about just the first week or even the first day.
Negative thoughts can fuel anxiety, especially when children anticipate the worst about a new school year. Help your child develop the habit of positive self-talk. For example, if they express concerns about making friends, guide them to reframe their thoughts. Instead of thinking, "I won’t make any friends," encourage them to say, "I’ve made friends before, and I can do it again."
Work together to create a list of positive statements your child can repeat to themselves when they feel anxious. Simple phrases like "I can handle this" can boost their confidence and help shift their mindset. The more they practise reframing their thoughts, the easier it will become to manage their anxiety.
Starting a new school year can be mentally and physically exhausting for children, particularly those who struggle with anxiety. Make sure your child has a quiet, comfortable space where they can decompress after school. Whether it’s their bedroom, a cosy corner with their favourite books, or even a spot outside, giving them time and space to unwind without immediate pressure to talk about their day is important.
Some children may need time to process their feelings before they’re ready to discuss them. Allow them to relax in their own way, whether that’s through drawing, playing with toys, or engaging in another quiet activity. Let them know you’re there for them when they’re ready to talk, but don’t force the conversation.
Children often take their cues from their parents, so maintaining a positive attitude about school can help them feel more optimistic. Speak about the new school year as an exciting opportunity to learn new things, make friends, and have fun. If your child sees that you are calm and confident, they are more likely to feel that way themselves.
You can also share your own experiences with starting new things, whether it’s a new job or a new hobby. Talking about how you overcame nervousness, or uncertainty can help them see that feeling anxious is normal, but it doesn’t have to stop them from enjoying the experience.
Teaching your child to take deep breaths can be very effective in calming anxious feelings.
If their anxiety about the new school year is significant, it may be helpful to work closely with their teacher or the school’s support staff. Informing their teacher about your child’s concerns allows them to keep an eye on how they’re coping and provide extra support where needed. Sometimes, just knowing that their teacher is aware of their worries can help children feel more secure.
Encourage your child to identify a "safe person" at school, such as a teacher or teaching assistant, whom they can go to if they’re feeling overwhelmed. This gives them a clear plan of action when their anxiety spikes during the school day.
Progress may be slow, but it’s important to celebrate every step forward. Whether it’s completing the first day without tears or making a new friend, acknowledging these small victories can help boost your child’s confidence. Positive reinforcement can go a long way in helping them feel proud of their efforts.
Even simple praise and a high-five can make a big difference in encouraging their progress.
If your child’s anxiety becomes overwhelming or is significantly impacting their day-to-day life, it might be worth seeking professional support. A therapist who specialises in childhood anxiety can work with your child to develop coping strategies and provide additional tools to help manage their emotions.
Early intervention is key to helping your child develop healthy ways of dealing with stress, and a professional can guide both you both through this process.
Starting a new school year can be tough for children, especially when they’re dealing with mental health challenges. By acknowledging their feelings, creating a supportive routine, and encouraging positive habits, you can help ease their anxieties. Remember that every journey is different, so be patient, offer encouragement, and celebrate their progress—no matter how small. With your love and support, your child can face the new school year with growing confidence.
Happy New Year - Jan 2024
Happy new year!
I hope you’ve had a brilliant break over Christmas.
I know some people have been on holiday, others have been enjoying family time at home. Either way, I hope it was fantastic.
Someone sent me a Christmas present just before the bog day, but I have no idea who it was from, so I can’t say thank you. I feel really guilty as it seems like bad manners, but it was just in a box from M&S with no message attached.
This year, I have committed to send out the notification when the monthly membership bundle goes live, but I am also going to send out an (initially) fortnightly newsletter with suggestions for revision / secondary school Math / English, then in the alternate week a newsletter with suggestions for the primary subjects.
If either of them isn’t relevant, please either let me know and I will ensure you just get the primary or secondary newsletter if you want it, or just click unsubscribe (but then you also won’t receive the email about when the bundle goes live).
My goal is to keep you more in the loop as to what is happening. For example, we occasionally put free courses on Udemy – we’ve just done one on angles – here’s the link if wanted. It was created to promote the topic book we have also created; we’ve also got revision planners for students that might be suitable for some GCSE parents.
At Christmas we also had some free times-tables colouring sheets which you may not have been aware of, so like I say, it may not be of interest to you, but if it is, at least you’ll be aware of it. I have 3 revision planners and 3 angles topic books to give away if you’re interested. Let me know and I’ll happily pop one in the post for you (or give it to you if I’m likely to see you…).
If you do have one, if you could give it feedback on Amazon (I’ll send you the link) that would be hugely appreciated.
Happy new year for now and warm wishes,
Dawn
Times Tables - Jan 24
Hi,
Last week I sent out an email saying I was going to try and commit to sending out an email at the beginning of each week on ideas to support primary school children, then later in the week about supporting secondary school children.
As a result, I was asked if I could also send out some ideas to support the 11+.
(Again, if this doesn’t concern you let me know and I’ll try to ensure that you don’t receive them).
I’ll send the 11+ emails on an alternate Wednesday as I normally have Alfie, my grandson on a Tuesday and the odds of getting much done with a lively 2-year-old for company…
There will be some cross over between primary school and secondary school subjects, but at any stage there is something you specifically want me to help with, please do shout.
So, back on subject, sorry…
Times tables have always been one of the key subjects that I work on with, specifically primary aged children, but also secondary school children, and often the parents say they’re awful at them as well…
I don’t suggest learning them in chronological order.
If you do, you’ll hit some of the much harder ones before you get to some of the easier ones.
Instead, what I suggest (and you’ve probably heard me say this before) is that you start with the 10’s, 11’s, 2’s and 5’s as they do in school.
Then deviate across to the 9’s as there are so many tricks to help you to learn them.
Then the 6’s or 7’s. Crazy I know! But they are quite simple if you split them so that 6x8 becomes: 5x8 + 1x8 = 50+8 Or 7x8 becomes 5x8 + 2x8 = 40 +16 = 56.
From there you can pretty much work in any order.
The 12’s is also straight forward as we can split it into 10x + 2x which would give us the same answer as 12x.
There are more suggestions on the times tables over in the Clara James Approach, or I have a sequence of emails which sends out once a month with suggestions on how to learn each of the times tables with some resources. If it would help, the link is here: Support your child with their times tables - The fun way! (sendfox.com)
I hope that’s helpful and not just waffle.
Like I say if there is anything specific you would like us to focus on, please do give me a shout.
Have a great week and warm wishes,
Dawn
Hand Writing Support
Hi,
I hope you had a good weekend.
Something I am often asked about is supporting hand-writing skills.
At a young age this may relate to the hand muscles in the hands not yet being fully developed and I have a few suggestions that may help.
As the child gets older, you may want to find the support of an occupational therapist to provide some suggestions.
1. Start big: I guess it’s a bit like parking a car. When you are first asked to park a car, you wouldn’t want to park in a narrow gap, you’d hopefully save that until you were more confident, more skilled. Handwriting practice is the same, using a big piece of paper is far better than trying to squeeze your imperfect shapes between two narrow lines. Even better, (if the weather is more forgiving) start by using water to paint on the side of the house, a patio or footpath). Use large movements and as these improve start to shrink it down to what is expected inside a school exercise book.
2. Jenga: I love this game and we’ve adapted it by writing numbers of the bricks so that we can practice number bonds or the times tables, we’ve also got grammatical terms on others so that we can also practice those. But the skill and care needed to remove the brick from the tower without it all tumbling is a great way to practice the fine motor skills which will in turn support handwriting.
3. Colouring is another suggestion: keeping the colouring inside the lines is another skill that requires practice and patience. Again, the strokes used in colouring can further aid the shapes created when writing letters.
4. Sewing again requires the use of the fine motor skills needed for neat handwriting. You may just do a normal running stitch on a square of fabric, or you may decide to make something or use a more elaborate stitch. Either way I hope this helps.
5. Playdough and clay are other great early interventions to building up the muscles in the hands. The stronger and more developed the muscles are the more precise we can be with our writing.
To be honest, anything that needs to be precise will help. Many crafts and building activities help.
For some people, messy handwriting is always an issue.
There are a couple of members of my family whose handwriting I always struggle to read, yet they are so intelligent. It doesn't seem to add up. But my daughter says, if she doesn’t write quickly, she can’t remember everything her brain is throwing at her. Her brain works at such a speed.
I used to tutor a girl a couple of years back. I hadn’t realized her mum was an invigilator for the A’ levels at the school my youngest went to.
Not long after Hay sat her history the mum asked me if my daughter was doing her exams now.
Yes.
Does she do History?
Yes. Is she called Angel?
Yes.
She said, I thought it must be your daughter.
I have never seen anyone writing so quickly. I expected sparks to come off that page!
There are many reasons why people have scruffy handwriting, sometimes it needs to be investigated and like I say, if you are worried about it, it might be worth while trying to get in touch with an occupational therapist.
Sometimes, practicing using the suggestions above will help. Sometimes, like with Hay, it’s just one of those things that make them, them.
I hope this has helped a bit.
Have a great week and warm wishes,
Dawn