When It Feels Like You’re Being Judged
When It Feels Like You’re Being Judged
There is something deeply uncomfortable about being judged… or even just the feeling that you might be.
Earlier today, I did something that, to someone else, might seem quite small.
I sent the details of my tutoring franchise to a company to help promote it.
A seemingly simple email.
But for me, it felt huge.
Because in that moment, I wasn’t just sending information, links, images,. I was handing over something I’ve worked on, built, and cared about… and inviting someone else to form an opinion on it.
And almost instantly, my mind did what I know so many others experience too.
It jumped straight to the worst-case scenario and panic set in.
What if they don’t think it’s good enough?
What if they don’t see the value in it?
What if I’ve got it completely wrong?
What if!
It reminded me, quite unexpectedly, of results day.
That feeling of walking in to collect your GCSE results…
knowing you’ve worked hard, knowing you’ve done your best...
but also knowing that, at that point, it’s out of your hands.
Someone else has marked it.
Someone else has made a judgement.
And all you can do is open the envelope.
The Advice We Give… and Struggle to Take
When I’m working with students, I often say:
“Walk into that exam knowing you’ve done your best. That’s all anyone can ask of you.”
And I truly believe that.
But standing on the other side of it today, I realised something.
It’s much easier to give that advice than it is to take it.
Because when it’s your work, your effort, your idea...
it feels much more personal.
Much more exposed.
Maybe This Doesn’t Go Away
One of the things I see time and time again in the children I support is a fear of getting it wrong.
A fear of being judged.
A fear that what they produce won’t be “good enough.”
We often assume that confidence comes with age.
But moments like today remind me… sadly, it doesn’t just disappear.
It just shows up in different ways.
A Reminder (For Them… and For Me)
So today, I’m reminding myself of the same thing I tell my students:
If you’ve shown up…
If you’ve tried…
If you’ve given it your best…
That is enough.
And whatever comes next, whatever someone else thinks or says -
doesn’t take that away.
