Supporting anxious and neurodiverse children through the summer holiday transition - and back to school again

Supporting anxious and neurodiverse children through the summer holiday transition - and back to school again

In just a couple of weeks, school comes to an end and the long summer holiday begins. For many children, that break is a welcome relief - a chance to rest, play, reset, and enjoy a slower pace of life.

But for some children, especially those who are neurodiverse or experience anxiety, transitions can feel anything but simple.

While summer can bring freedom and fun, it also brings a big change in routine. Then, just as children begin to settle into holiday mode, September appears on the horizon and the shift back into school life can feel overwhelming all over again.

For many parents, this can be a difficult balance. You want your child to fully enjoy their summer, but you may also know that a sudden change back into term-time routines can feel huge.

I was chatting to a mum recently who now home educates, but when her child was in school, they used to really struggle with anxiety around returning in September. She found that keeping a few small term-time habits in place over the summer made the transition feel less abrupt. Things like continuing with packed lunches on some days, keeping bedtimes fairly close to their usual routine, and getting clothes ready the night before helped create familiarity without taking away the joy of the holidays.

It struck me as such a simple but thoughtful idea - not about making summer feel like school, but about gently reducing the shock of the transition back.

Why transitions can feel so hard

Many neurodiverse children and anxious children find change difficult. That might be because they feel safer when life is predictable, because uncertainty makes them feel uneasy, or because sensory, emotional, and social demands can already take up so much energy.

The end of term, the start of the holidays, and then the return to school are not just dates on the calendar - they are major shifts in routine, expectations, environment, and emotional demand.

A child may not always say, "I’m anxious about going back." Instead, it might show up as:

• difficulty sleeping

• meltdowns or increased irritability

• clinginess

• tummy aches or headaches

• needing more reassurance than usual

• asking repeated questions about what is happening and when

• resistance around getting dressed, leaving the house, or talking about school

Often, what looks like difficult behaviour is really a child communicating that something feels uncertain or too big.

Supporting children as summer begins

When the school term ends, some children need time to decompress. School can be exhausting - mentally, emotionally, socially, and sensory-wise. The start of summer may bring a release of all that held-together energy.

You may notice that your child seems more emotional, more tired, or more dysregulated at the start of the holiday. This is often not a sign that anything is wrong. It can simply mean they finally feel safe enough to let go.

A few things can help:

• Allow decompression time. Try not to fill the first days with too many plans or expectations.

• Keep some gentle structure. Children do not necessarily need a rigid timetable, but many benefit from knowing roughly what the day will hold.

• Use visual supports. A simple calendar, picture schedule, or weekly plan can help reduce uncertainty.

• Acknowledge mixed emotions. Your child may feel excited about summer and unsettled by the change at the same time.

It’s okay if they need a slower start.

How to keep summer feeling free while still supporting regulation

The goal is not to run the summer like a school timetable. Children need rest, spontaneity, and fun. But for some, having a few familiar anchors in place can make a real difference.

You might try:

• Keeping bedtimes reasonably consistent, even if they are a little more relaxed than during term time.

• Having some familiar mealtime structure, especially if hunger and routine affect your child’s mood.

• Using packed lunches occasionally for days out, picnics, or home-based lunches, so that this part of school life still feels familiar.

• Preparing for the next day the evening before, such as laying out clothes or talking through plans.

• Keeping a loose rhythm to the week, with certain days for outings, home days, visits, or quiet time.

These small habits can provide reassurance without making the holidays feel overly structured.

Helping children who worry about September

For some children, anxiety about going back to school begins long before the end of August. Once they know school is coming back, their minds can start racing ahead.

They may worry about:

• who will be in their class

• whether their teacher will understand them

• changes in routine

• friendships

• academic pressure

• sensory overwhelm

• travelling to school

• separation from home

One of the most helpful things you can do is acknowledge their feelings without rushing to fix them.

You might say things like:

• "It makes sense that this feels big."

• "A lot of children feel wobbly before going back."

• "You don’t have to have it all sorted right now."

• "We can take it one step at a time."

Being heard and understood can reduce the sense of isolation that anxious children often feel.

Small ways to ease the return to school

As September gets closer, gentle preparation can help make things feel more manageable.

1. Break it down

An entire school year can feel huge. Bring the focus back to smaller steps - the new pencil case, the first morning, the journey to school, the first lesson, the first week.

When children only have to think about the next step, things often feel less overwhelming.

2. Familiarise them with the environment

If possible, revisit the school site, walk past it, or look at photos on the website. If they are starting somewhere new, try to locate important places like the entrance, classroom, toilets, or playground in advance.

If visiting in person is not possible, looking online together can still help reduce uncertainty.

3. Reintroduce routine gradually

In the final stretch of the holiday, begin gently shifting routines back towards term-time. Wake-up times, mealtimes, and bedtime can all move gradually rather than suddenly.

This can be especially helpful for children whose anxiety is made worse by tiredness.

4. Practise calming strategies

Simple tools like deep breathing, movement breaks, sensory supports, or a short calming phrase can help children feel more equipped.

Some children find it helpful to repeat phrases such as:

• "I can do this."

• "I only need to do one step at a time."

• "It’s okay to feel nervous."

• "I’ve done hard things before."

5. Identify a safe person

If your child is worried about coping in school, it can help to identify one trusted adult they can go to if they feel overwhelmed. Knowing there is a plan can reduce a lot of anxiety.

6. Work with school where needed

If your child struggles significantly with change, sharing this with school can be really important. A teacher or support staff member who understands your child’s needs is in a much better position to offer reassurance and flexibility.

A note for parents

If your child finds transitions difficult, it does not mean you are doing anything wrong.

Some children simply need more preparation, more predictability, and more support around change. Small, thoughtful adjustments can make a meaningful difference. You do not need to create a perfect summer or remove every worry. Often, the biggest help is being a calm, understanding presence and making the transition feel a little less abrupt.

Progress may be slow, and that is okay. Celebrate the small wins - a calmer bedtime, fewer worries, a successful outing, a first day managed with less distress than before. These steps matter.

If your child’s anxiety feels overwhelming or is having a significant impact on day-to-day life, extra support from a mental health professional may also be helpful.

Final thought

Summer holidays should still feel like summer holidays - full of rest, connection, fun, and space to breathe. But for children who struggle with uncertainty and change, keeping a few gentle routines in place can make the return to school feel less sudden and less daunting.

Sometimes it is the smallest things that help the most.

A packed lunch. A familiar bedtime. Clothes ready for the morning. A visual plan. A little reassurance, given often.

These small anchors can help children enjoy the freedom of summer while feeling safer about what comes next.