Many parents fear that trying to explain something to their child will only confuse them further. But sometimes we need things presented in a different way for them to become relevant and make sense to us.

I remember as a child sitting in a GCSE maths class and the teacher was explaining something to us. I had no idea what she was talking about.

She called on me to answer. My mind went blank. My heart raced.

I sat and looked at her blankly before giving her an answer with only the slightest glimmer of hope that it might be right.

No chance. She explained it again using the exact same words. She asked me again for the answer. I was still none the wiser. She might as well have been talking in a foreign language. I had no clue.

With a roll of her eyes, she explained it for the third time in the exact the same way. I still had no idea what she was on about.  But, now with a bright red face and a fear that the tears I could feel welling up inside would escape down my cheeks, she gave up. I felt like a complete fool in front of the whole class.

That night I sat with my dad who used completely different wording, and I got it. It was simple. He wasn’t a teacher; he just had the patience to explain it to me in a way that I understood it.

I was lucky to have a dad who had the time, patience, ability to sit down and support me in the way that he did, many parents don’t feel they have the skillset to do this and instead turn to the external support of a tutor.

So many children lack confidence in themselves and if we, as tutors can support them with this, we can genuinely change their lives.

As tutors, we don’t just teach subjects. We help children find confidence in their abilities and show them that they are capable. Often, it’s not about intelligence but about how ideas and concepts are explained

Here’s an email I received from the parent of a child I had worked:

“Hi Dawn

I'm so sorry for not replying sooner. I've not been very well and i'm afraid i've not been able to keep up with my emails. I think all the stress of trying to get F through his exams caught up with me as soon as he finished!

I wanted to say a huge ginormous thank you to you for everything you've done for F. You have helped him so much in his math and English. But for him it's more than that. Before starting with you he was in a really bad place. He felt education wasn't for him and had no hope of passing anything or achieving anything. But by teaching him maths in a way he understood he started to believe that he wasn't totally stupid and maybe he could pass. And then that spiraled as he got better at maths he starting thinking he could maybe do other things and it's really changed his whole outlook. I never thought I’d be sitting here with him discussing A levels let alone him considering going to college after 6th form to studying computing. He is like a different person!

The exam period was not easy but now the stress has gone he's much easier to live with and is enjoying his life of leisure. He wanted me to ask you if there was somewhere he could leave a review for you as he wanted to say thank you and tell other people how good you were for him.

So, a huge thank you from all of us and we will let you know how he gets on.

I hope you have a wonderful summer!”

Our role as a tutor is to support a child, not only with their knowledge, but also in their self-belief. It is down to us to show them what they are capable of. We need to support them in a way that makes sense to them so that they know they are not stupid, they do have abilities, it’s just never been explained to them in a way that is relevant to them before.

As with everything you do in life there are going to be ups and downs. There will be days that you smile so much that your face aches. And then there are the hard days, the ones that leave you frustrated, questioning, and wondering why you do it.

But you know that you are making a difference. By doing what you do, you are making a huge difference to those you work with and that because you genuinely care you are transforming lives and futures.

Becoming a Tutor

Many people see tutoring as an easy way to earn some extra money. I guess as with most things, this depends on your ultimate goal. If you are just looking to support family, friends, neighbours, you will probably get up and running with one or two students quite quickly.

But if you want to change your life and the lives of many others, like with most things that are worth having, it will take patience, time and commitment.

Why do you want to tutor? Is it just for the money? Is it because you have a passion for the subject, and you want others to love it in the same way that you do. Maybe it’s because you’ve been teaching in the classroom and although you love the children and the job, the politics and the stress is now proving too much and it’s time to move on and this seems like the perfect opportunity.

Have an honest chat with yourself about why you want to become a tutor, because this will act as your motivator on the days that you can’t be bothered, when the rest of the family are meeting up for a family BBQ and you can’t go because you have a lesson to go to, or your son/daughter/niece or nephew is in the school play, and once again you have a lesson to go to; you would cancel, but you had to cancel last time so you don’t feel you can cancel another.

So, you know why you want to tutor, and you are convinced that it is a strong enough motivator to keep you going on the days when you will be missing out on something else.

What makes a good tutor?

On one hand I would suggest that depends on your tutoring style and your goals. Are you looking to support the best of the best get into the best universities or get the highest grades. You had a strict education and that is what you want to provide to someone else: discipline and self-motivation. Children have it too soft these days!

You will provide a range of worksheets to prepare them for what they will encounter in their exams, and they will be given the opportunity to research areas that they are not familiar with. Responsibility is key!

Maybe your attitude is completely different. Maybe you recognise that there is a reason why many children struggle in school. It is not always laziness; it is not always just bad behaviour sometimes there is more to it than that. They need someone to take their hand and support them each and every step of the way. You want to be Rahl Dahl’s Miss Honey from Matilda.

Maybe those examples are extreme, but it gives you an idea that there is generally a tutoring style for everyone. It is surprising how many parents look for what they had experienced at school for their child.

I went to a young girl a few years ago. She was probably 8 or 9 at the time. She was ADHD and struggling in class. She was falling further and further behind her peers.

Over a couple of months we played games, many of which involved movement – she would have to pick up the correct answer from a range of sheets of paper on the floor or throw the beanbag onto the correct answer. Her confidence rose and so did her abilities in the classroom.

Before long she was back on a par with her friends.

At this point, the mum suggested we did “some proper work now” i.e. we stopped the games and focused on sitting quietly and working through worksheets.

I stopped going soon after and they used a popular franchise that is based on working through a series of worksheets by rote. I’m not sure what the outcome was.

Every family is looking for what will work best for them and their child. How you promote yourself as a tutor will hugely influence what qualities you will need as a tutor.

However, I would say the best tutors are:

Calm and demonstrate a sense of patience

Clear in their explanations but at the same time willing to accept when they are not explaining something in a way that the specific child they are working with will understand it, so they need to rephrase it.

Flexible in how they present their lessons: what support does that child need to achieve their goals.

Being able to relate to a student’s struggles or frustrations helps build trust. Empathy enables you to respond to each student’s unique needs and emotional state.

Remember that every student is different, so you need to be able to tailor your approach to meet the student’s learning style, interests, and strengths, making lessons as engaging and effective as possible. You need to be like a chameleon and adapt to what is happening around you. Each student you work with is like taking on a different role in a different play, so it is suitable for their understanding.

A solid understanding of the subject matter is essential, so that you can answer questions confidently and explain concepts in various ways. Though there will be times when you are asked questions that you don’t know the answer to and that is fine as well. Work it out together as a team or tell them that you will find out for next time. It’s ok to be honest and admit that nobody knows everything.

An ability to explain complex ideas in simple terms, ask helpful questions, and actively listen to understand where they might need extra help.

A positive outlook

Organised

When a student is struggling, you need to think creatively to find alternative explanations or strategies to help them understand.

An enthusiasm for the subject and a genuine interest in helping students learn and make sessions enjoyable and inspiring.

Finally, Commitment and Reliability

I could give you multiple anecdotes about people who have got in touch about joining us at Clara James. One lady got in touch, she was lovely, she had been teaching English all around the world for over 30 years in a classroom situation. However, when it came to adapting to working one-to-one with children she struggled. She was so accustomed to working with the majority, in a generalised fashion, sadly because we work one-to-one, she wasn’t compatible with how we do things.

Another person got in touch. He had been working in the corporate world for many years and as he had risen through the ranks had become involved in many of the training programs. He was accustomed to working with educated adults. I spoke to him about a mum who had gotten in touch a couple of years earlier. Her lad had missed quite a bit of school because he had been in and out of hospital. This had knocked his confidence and so he rarely put his hand up in class.

After a recent parents evening, that had been put forward as his goal to put his hand up and ask questions when he wasn’t sure about something. So, several days later he had done just that. However, the teacher had gotten frustrated with him for not understanding it after she had taken the time to go through it with the class. This potential tutor had stated that clearly if the other 28 students had understood it, that made an almost 97% pass rate. Surely that should be congratulated that the teacher was doing a good job. And yes, I can see his logic, but as a tutor you are often working with that 3% who don’t get it, so you need to be willing to go over something a dozen different times, a dozen different ways if they don’t get it. You need to focus on that 1 not the majority.

In many cases, that is why they come to you to fill in the gaps of what they haven’t understood at school.